Ray and Suzanne Porter might not be regarded as typical foster carers. Both are in their 40's, professional people, living in a spacious detached house in rural Lancashire. She is a driving instructor, her firm taught Amir Khan to drive. He is a former soldier, once stationed in Northern Ireland, who runs a taxi business and an overseas property consultancy. They have two children of their own, Conor 13 and Chantelle 15, and foster a twelve year old, whose parents couldn't cope.
But then, what is a typical foster carer? There is a veritable army of foster families around the country, who look after 50,000 children in need of temporary homes, and every one is presumably different. Nevertheless, they all share a deep concern for children in need and are willing to share their homes, their lives, with youngsters who have suffered abuse, neglect or an absence of loved ones. What is more worrying is that there are an estimated 10,000 or more children who have no foster families to turn to at all, which means there is a desperate search for more carers.

Would Ray and Suzanne, who have been approved foster carers with independent agency Perpetual Fostering for just over a year, recommend their choice to others? Their answer is an unequivocal ‘Yes!’. Although to understand why and see what it takes to succeed in fostering, it’s necessary to explore further.

Suzanne’s own mother fostered children and she was brought up with a succession of young visitors. That explains it then. Well no, not really, because the decision to follow suit took many years and involved husband Ray. He was born in Belfast, to a Catholic mum and a Protestant dad, so not surprisingly the family moved to Bury in northern England to escape ‘the troubles’. He joined the army at 18 and, bravely perhaps, volunteered to serve in Northern Ireland. After being demobbed, he worked in the building trade with his brother, became a part-time taxi driver, eventually starting his own taxi business. This now shares the same offices as Suzanne’s successful driving school.

So, they married, had two delightful children and lived in a smart house with a well-equipped games room, as much for Ray as the kids. They were well off, not millionaires, had flexible working hours, ‘typical ‘2.4 children material’ they say.

“We looked around and felt we had a great family and a pleasant lifestyle. We thought how fortunate we were,” says Suzanne, “and we wanted to give something back. Through his contract work for children’s homes, Ray was already picking up foster children from local schools and enjoyed the contact, whilst fostering was ever-present in my own family life. So we thought, why not foster?”

Why not indeed. Had it been left to three separate local authority fostering agencies though, Ray and Suzanne’s good intentions would have amounted to nothing. Unaccountably, the authorities either rejected their approach or failed to respond. We’ll attribute that to bureaucracy or hard-pressed staff, but at a time when more carers are desperately needed, not quite the smooth-running machine expected. So the Porters put the fostering idea on the backburner, even considered looking after foreign students, but again no response. Then, a full three or four years later, Suzanne was driving home and heard Perpetual Fostering’s name on local radio.

“I stopped the car, keyed their number into my mobile, and rang them there and then,” recalls Suzanne. “The reaction was totally different. They asked a series of questions on the phone, part of the initial vetting procedure, then within 48 hours we received forms and information through the post. After that, the whole process went very smoothly and relatively quickly.”

Smooth it may have been, but the detailed application process took around six months, which is typical. Once the forms had been returned, a Perpetual social worker visited to talk through the assessment programme and, discreetly, check the home offered a suitable environment for fostering. Which, of course, it did. Next, Ray and Suzanne attended a ‘skills to foster’ training weekend, which they found invaluable, although Ray suggests that it might have been nice to meet people who actually fostered. A recommendation that Perpetual is now considering.

There followed a pretty intensive assessment programme, involving several visits by social workers and completion of the comprehensive Form F, a standard document. Ray and Suzanne’s children had been involved in the decision right from the start and they were interviewed informally, expressing their enthusiasm for the idea. There was even a routine check on criminal records. By October they were approved, initially as short-term carers, and just before Christmas received their first placement, a young boy, one of three displaced siblings, in serious need of TLC and a stable home environment.

“It can be difficult and demanding, but as with any family, you work through any problems and difficulties. Then it can be highly rewarding,” says Ray. “The fortnightly allowance of £750 tax-free is more than we expected, although you certainly wouldn’t become a foster carer for financial reasons. Essentially it’s a full-time job, but you feel as if you’re making a difference.”

“Running our own businesses, we have the flexibility needed for liaising with social workers, going to meetings at school, attending courses and all the other day-to-day duties involved,” adds Suzanne. “Thanks to Perpetual’s matching process, we’ve all bonded well together and, although this placement is soon coming to an end, we’ve promised that we shall always be here for him and that he can come back and visit us.”

Both are full of praise for the Perpetual social workers, Shaheeda and latterly Sandra, who visited the home regularly and proved highly supportive and helpful. “The agency has been wonderful from day one,” says Suzanne, “in fact every stage has been great and we’ve acquired some valuable new skills through the various courses.” Indicating perhaps how an agency like Perpetual really cherishes and assists its carers, regarding them as vital assets.

Will Ray and Suzanne continue fostering? They will, and once Conor and Chantelle have ‘flown the nest’, they foresee carrying on into semi-retirement, probably with a succession of children, some difficult, some delightful, all deserving.

“We want to give something back,” say Ray and Suzanne again, echoing a phrase used by so many carers to explain what seems to others a selfless, generous and compassionate act. The Porters’ experience with Perpetual Fostering also proves that the approval process need not be daunting and that there’s professional support every step of the way. Anyone can apply, married, single or divorced, gay or straight, young, middle-aged or elderly, householder or tenant, you just need a generous heart.

Prospective carers should apply initially to Perpetual Fostering, 31 Chorley New Road, Bolton BL1 4QR, tel 01204 364 666, email info@perpetualfostering.co.uk