Sam and Paul

Foster carers like Sam and Paul are unique and special, yet equally they are quite commonplace, since there are tens of thousands of them, quietly going about their vital work. They receive specialist training for the role, but they are not swots or academics, just ordinary people acquiring new skills and understanding to help cope with the most challenging situations. So why do it? For the Wilds, the actual trigger came from their own son Bradley, now 17.

Bradley heard about Perpetual Fostering on the radio and suggested foster care as an option to his mum and dad. For clinical reasons, Sam couldn’t have any more children and, rather than adopt, the family thought they could provide a loving, temporary home for a number of troubled children, through fostering. At first glance, neither Sam’s nor Paul’s early childhoods marks them out as potential carers: Sam never knew her father and was brought up with four sisters in a one-parent family, albeit a stable and happy one, while Paul’s father died when he was only eight and the youngster had to play ‘dad’ to two younger brothers.

Yet those early, unsettling and no doubt traumatic experiences seem to have better equipped them for the emotional rollercoaster that is fostering. Nor, to his eternal credit, has young Bradley ever regretted his earlier suggestion.

Perpetual is always on hand with practical help, including the provision of a dedicated social worker, and has proved very supportive during some difficult times.  The agency has provided Sam with specialist training and arranges regular respite weekends to allow the family to relax and spend some time alone.

When it comes to possessing the qualities to be foster carers, Sam and Paul tick all the boxes: energy and enthusiasm, patience, resilience, understanding and emotional strength. They provide a secure, stable and loving home environment, with a separate bedroom for a foster child. They are also down-to-earth and unshakeable in their desire to help improve young people’s lives. In the case of Sam particularly, she is also happy to undertake special training and acquire additional knowledge and skills, to help deal with day-to-day fostering issues.

Why did they choose to foster? Although they are paid a fairly generous allowance by Perpetual, they are certainly not in it for the money.   Their underlying reason is probably quite simple, they wanted to make a difference and believed they could. As a government leaflet on foster care suggests, they are just ‘ordinary people doing extraordinary things’.

The personal rewards are equally clear. Talk to Sam and it’s obvious she derives intense satisfaction from helping to improve the outcomes for children who have been rejected, abused or otherwise hurt, by their parents or the system. Whether a shy smile, a sudden laugh, a tidy bedroom, a good school report, even a more optimistic view of the future, such positive outcomes are rewards in themselves for Sam, Paul and tens of thousands of foster carers like them.

But there is a chronic national shortage of foster carers and an estimated ten thousand youngsters are unable to find a loving, nurturing temporary foster home. Sam and Paul’s experience illustrates that you don’t need exceptional qualities or skills, just a quiet determination, an inner resilience and a loving heart. There are also qualified people, like those at Perpetual, to provide practical and emotional support, 24/7. So if you would like a home-based career where you could really make a difference, apply now to be a foster carer. As Sam Wild says, “Don’t be frightened, if the thought of fostering appeals, then go for it. It’s one of the most rewarding things you could do.”